Outlander Season Three: The One about the Trailer

(AKA: The one in which Rebecca watches the trailer on repeat like a crack addict and then, after a glass or two of vino, woefully realizes that the months of work she did on “Mock Season Three” might have been totally and completely off the mark, but hey, maybe not.)

Okay, let’s get down to it.

STARZ has released the season three trailer, a fact which I’m guessing you already knew. And I would link to it here, but who are we kidding? You’ve already seen it.

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Fine, here’s the LINK.

Now, my loyal readers will remember me saying HERE that the Print Shop Scene, capitalized as it refers to a holy spiritual place, could not possibly happen any later than episode three. I said this for a number of reasons, mainly having to do with how lopsided the first 200 pages of “Voyager” are towards Jamie’s story.

To recap: Jamie has a whole other novel’s worth of drama in the first 200 pages of the book (hermit life, imprisonment, treasure hunting, indentured servitude, deftly avoiding homosexual advances, inadvertent impregnation of virgins, tossing old men out of windows—you know, stuff)…

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…while Claire, well, um—what does Claire do again? She goes to medical school and raises a kid. At one point, I seem to recall her waiting at home for the repairman to show up. Oh, look, more wine.

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So, in my MOCK SEASON THREE breakdowns, which you can review HERE, I had a rather clever (if I do say so myself) solution to this problem. Namely, move some of Jamie’s story to later in the season, viewed in flashbacks. I loved this solution, as it allowed me to do two geeky writerly things that I like to do: stick thematically relevant material together, and put more sex in.

And that is why, in my version of events, Jamie’s impregnation of Geneva Dunsany (spoiler alert, BTW) happens HERE, intermingled with the Masquerade Ball episode.

But now I get whacked with this trailer, which, admittedly, looks pretty damn good. That compounded with other recent revelations, such as Diana Gabaldon apparently stating at some point (does anyone know where?) that the print shop scene would not happen until episode five or so, and also THIS ARTICLE on TVLine, which explicitly states the following: “All told, the final five episodes of the third season will be shot in South Africa [standing in for Jamaica],” and I am left with only one conclusion to draw:

Boy, was I wrong, huh?

Or was I?

Because, yes, it does seem that our fearless leader Ron “It’s in the frackin’ ship” Moore may have done what any good showrunner would do, and that’s give us a helluva lot more Tobias Menzies than the book called for.

But…and it’s a big but…I still contend that they’re going to have a bitch of a time trying to fill Claire’s half of all those Jamie-heavy episodes with anything that won’t pale in comparison. I mean, I love Caitriona Balfe and Tobias Menzies as much as anyone, but how many times can we watch a married couple bicker endlessly over parenting styles, blow out birthday candles, wait for repairmen to show up, and drink away their regrets, furiously clacking away on some keyboard when they should be folding laundry, blogging endlessly about some TV show that isn’t even on the air right now…

Wait, what was I talking about?

Right, Outlander.

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Yes..

The point is, I don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised if season three ends up splitting the difference between my take, which we’ll call the “Get us to the Print Shop, for the Love of All That is Holy” take, and the more literal and chronological take that the trailer would indicate they’re taking, which we’ll call the “Whose Turn is it to do the Dishes, and Remember that Time When You Got to Sleep with Sam Heughan Every Night” version.

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We all did, Sam. I mean Jamie. Damn it, I swore I wasn’t going to conflate the actors with their roles this year. Bad Rebecca, bad.

I mean, let’s just break this down for a second, shall we? There’s 13 episodes in this season. If the last five are Jamaica, and we need at least, what? Two boat episodes to get there, and that’s bare minimum, then we’re looking at episode six when we get on the boat to Hispaniola.

And wouldn’t you know it, in my MOCK SIX, that’s exactly what we’re doing!

The only difference is, in my version of events, the Print Shop Scene happened in EPISODE TWO. And why did I do that, other than the obvious reasons of wanting to get to it?

Well, because even if we do postpone the whole Geneva Dunsany storyline until later, as I do, we still have A HEAPING CRAZY SPOONFUL of plot to get through before we can get on the boat. I mean, for Pete’s sake, we haven’t even met Ian Jr. yet. And if you’ll recall, he’s the whole reason we go on this wacky journey in the first place.

So, if you’re telling me Print Shop isn’t until episode five, and we get on the boat in episode six… well, puzzle me that, Outlander fans. ‘Cause I’m stumped.

I will say this, though, how hot will that Print Shop scene be when we’ve been waiting five flippin’ weeks for it? Or, you know, twenty years.

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Okay, that’s all. I gotta go fold the laundry. More to come… eventually.

Read more of Rebecca’s stuff, like what happens when an adult woman rewatches Flashdance, here. Follow me on Twitter @DownWorldNovel, “like” us on Facebook at Novel2Screen, or just follow this blog for more on your favorite novel-to-screen adaptations.

And if you’re looking for Outlander-themed jewelry, here’s the link:  Sassenach Jewelry

 

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