Chapter5

#Chapter5

The day went by without any interaction with Heath, I thanked the heavens for that. Luckily he was in none of my classes. After what happened, I wasn't ready to face him. His eyes gazed into mine. I wasn't ready for that intense staring battle again.

It was off time and I was standing beside my locker taking the books I wanted. I collected them and created a huge stack in my arms. Balancing them on my left arm I was about to close the locker when itself slammed shut with a bang.

Fingers grabbed my arm and a feeling of nervousness enveloped me. It turned me around in a careless manner and I was both shocked and scared by the sudden gesture.

When I looked at the figure I realized it was Heath and my heart raced.

Heath was standing in front of me in his intimidating glory that was making me afraid. He lightly pushed me into the steel frosty locker. The impact caused all of the books to slip out of my hands onto the floor and a shiver rose straight up to the hair on my neck. I gaped and tried to push him with my weak hands on his chest but he didn't budge.

Giving up I backed into the locker in the hope of creating some decent amount of space between us but it was of no avail. Slowly putting both of his hands on each side of my head he caged me. Leaving no opportunity for me to escape from him. Breathing heavily I kept my eyes low to not let him see the depths of my fear.

Heath won't do anything. Everything will be fine. He won't hurt you like dad used to hurt mom. I repeated those words in my heart, mind, and soul like a devoted prayer. My anxiety was taking a toll on me and my internal demons were breaking free and were strangling me in a tight hold, one which I knew I couldn't escape no matter what.

"Look at me." He growled lowly and the phrase was enough to make me obey his command in a mere second. Taking a deep breath of thick air I met his pair of blue eyes that were gazing down at me with a storm that was fiercely brewing in them.

"Aren't you fucking brave now?" He remarked in an icy tone that pricked my skin. His words held venom of a strong kind and his eyes were blazing with fury. Not wanting to answer him I inhaled some air and stared at him mutely. He looked at me as if he wanted to strangle me. His gaze was sharp and intense.

"Earlier you seemed pretty fucking courageous when you decided to step between something you shouldn't have." With each word, he began to decrease the short distance between us until my back was touching the locker and he was hovering over me.

The tight closeness was killing me and I wanted to get out of here soon. Unfortunately for me, there wasn't a single soul to help me as we were alone here. Everyone had already gone back to their homes except me, having stayed behind to talk to Mr. Carlie.

"Why the fuck did you help him? What is your fucking problem? I was beating him and it was something between us. Why did you help him like a fucking good samaritan? He was supposed to feel the pain," He seethed the words like they were acid, every drop stinging my fragile skin in a harmful manner. My heartbeat accelerated in an unusual manner and chills ran down my spine and I didn't know how to calm myself down.

"No one deserves pain," I muttered lowly.

Heath snickered and removed his eyes from me. When he looked back at me I saw his ocean eyes falling and rising with relentless waves, every current screaming pure pain, and sorrow. For that second I thought I saw a speck of torment swimming in his eyes. For that second I thought that there was more to him than he led on.

I didn't need to know him. I needed to stay away from him.

"Some do," I heard him say and it felt like the words fell out of his mouth before he could stop them. Taking his eyes away he took a deep breath.

At a slow pace, he leaned into my right ear and his heated chest was just an inch away from mine, but I could already feel the warmth entering me. His hot minty breath caressed my skin and I lightly quivered.

"Listen, loud and clear. You don't know shit about fucking pain and you never will. Next time don't even think of stepping into my business. Just stay out of it." He whispered in a deadly tone that reflected the amount of outrage he had within him. Saying those words he moved his face away leaving me an emotional mess. He was still caging me.

"Are we clear?" He asked in a hushed tone. I nodded my head quickly. Moments passed and he didn't move away. His body was oddly close to mine and I didn't like that one bit. No one had been this close to me before. It felt different.

I cleared my throat and he quickly backed off.

Though he was still standing beside me. Ignoring him, I bent down and collected all the books from the floor. Hastily, I put them in my worn-out backpack and walked out of that place. I didn't look back once.

I went back home as fast as I could. All the way I had a puzzled mind that wasn't comprehending anything. When I reached the door I unlocked it and shut it behind me.

I should have known that something like this would happen, and I should have stayed away. It was my own fault.

Heath said I had no idea what pain was. How wrong he was about it? It was bold of him to assume that he knew me, when he had no idea what I had gone through.

Taking a deep breath of homely air, I tried to calm my wildly beating heart.

After a few minutes of breathing practices, I had somewhat learned on my own for the past few years. I was back to normal. My anxiety was something over which I still had no control over.

When I'd get triggered and gut-wrenching past memories would hit my brain like a restless tide on a calm shore. My mental health had started to take a downward spiral since I was little, when things decided to take an unexpected u-turn in my house.

Getting up I locked the main door and went into the kitchen and made some fries as there wasn't anything else to eat.

When they were ready I ate them and then did some homework. In the evening, I binge-watched Lucifer as I had downloaded it when I was at the library. Fortunately, they had a WiFi connection.

After the show, I stayed up late in the hope of seeing my mom but she texted me that she wouldn't be coming home as it was her night shift. I tried calling Lily but she wasn't picking up her phone. Sighing, I went to my bed and laid down.

I felt so alone. There was no one I could talk to. To share my problems with. Someone who would assure me that all of this would end one day and I'd be normal. I was alone in this house drowning in my own thoughts.

Sometimes I desperately wished for company or just spent some time outside of this house but I didn't have a place to go other than the library that I visited a lot. Or someone to go with.

Staying stuck in this room with nothing to do, bored me. The extreme boredom would then take me to my wild thoughts which would cause me to overthink and overthinking was a big trigger to my past. Something I didn't want to reminisce about ever. I had never really talked to anyone about it, even Lily. She knew a bunch of things but not every detail.

All in all, I wanted someone in my life to be here with me all the time. To keep me away from my demons which for now were held in a safe cage but it wasn't long before they would break free.

I picked up the book I had gotten from the library and delved into it before I could overthink any more.